


It's a Wonderful Life

by Discessio



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:27:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28350876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Discessio/pseuds/Discessio
Summary: A case provokes Dean to confront feelings of jealousy as Castiel explores his own truths whilst following a lead in the investigation. Sammy as usual is the mediator.Trigger Warnings: analysis of suicidal feelings. Mentions of suicide (case related not the boys.)
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 79





	It's a Wonderful Life

"The fuck was that out there?!" Dean slammed the motel door shut. 

"Don't start this." 

Cocking his head, brows raised, Dean turned his fierce gaze on Castiel. "Start _what_?!" 

"This. The patronising rant you're about to unravel upon me." 

"He's gotta point Dea-" 

"-Keep out of this Sammy!" 

Sam threw his hands up in incredulous defence. Mumbling, " _Jeez_..." before hunching down in front his laptop. 

"I was simply following Hunter protocol, as taught to me, by you-" 

"You grabbed him and clung on like some huge, dumb limpet?!" Yelling, crossing the room to get to the mini fridge. 

Sam raised his brows as he passed and turned to Castiel who still lingered sullenly by the door. 

"I thought I saw him flinch, when he picked up the key ring, he went to toss it back and I thought I should wait a second more...then it just went _wrong_." 

The hiss of gass escaping the cap of a beer made Cas turn as Dean took a large gulp. Wiping the back of his hand over his mouth, "You were holding hands. It was like every chick-flick moment passed over before you let go. Supposed to be on a case, not picking up dudes!" He put the bottle down on the table, a little too hard as the foamy liquid oozed up over the top. 

Sam sighed deeply and continued scrolling half-heartedly through the police database. Ears trained on the argument bouncing from each side of the room. 

"I was not..." Cas frowned at Dean, "He was supposed to let go." 

A sarcastic laugh trickled from Dean as he sauntered toward Cas, "Oh, but buddy...the already ever-so-annoying officer Keane didn't _want_ to let go. You see not only did you do the opposite when I asked, "keep a low profile, introduce/inquire/vamoose.""

Dean gestured with his beer, his expression pulled into sarcastic mocking as he took wide steps toward the Angel. "But you, _you_...agent stupid, swan in there all fluttery eyelashes and then hold hands with the investigating officer, _THEN_ when he asks for your number you freakin' give it to him?!" 

Sam lowered the lid of his laptop slightly, long fingers tapping absently on the silver plastic, "In Castiel's defence, all you did was stand there and pout." Tilting his head when his brother shot him a dark look. 

"I do not _pout_ Sam." Glowering then turning to look at Cas who mirrored the same head tilt. "I don't! You're still in trouble!" 

"So I just feed him some false information when he rings," Castiel said softly, brushing past Dean's arm as he sat at the table beside the younger Winchester. "I really don't understand your overt reaction to my friendliness. I cannot help it if officer...?" 

"-Keane" Sam quickfired. 

"Officer Keane, confused my attempt at an iron test for a casual flirtation. In fact, surely that's good luck, else what other explanation would there be for such a mistake?" His soft blue eyes trained up toward Dean who stood with a hand resting on one hip, sipping occasionally from the bottle. 

The Hunter grunted in response, then mumbled about the shower. When he'd disappeared with a wash bag and towel, Cas turned to Sam. 

"I detect a sense of jealousy in him." 

Sam balked and turned slowly, wide-eyed from the screen toward the Angel. 

Cas rested, slightly slumped in the cheap wooden seat, palms open where they lay in his lap. 

"I've been trying hard. To please him. I rebuilt Dean from the smallest of cells, a rebirth if you will. I know him as a mother knows her own children and yet...I just can't get it right." Head bowed, Cas let his eyes droop shut momentarily. Entwining his fingers between themselves.

Sam gently closed the lid of the laptop completely, voice breaking as he went to speak, clearing his throat rather loudly before continuing, "You...Get what...wait Cas, do you...?" 

Interrupting without acknowledging the other man, Castiel began again, "I suppose, me taking the lead on a case was upsetting for him. Insulting even, that I, as inexperienced as I am, just harried on. Emblazoned with naive vigour that, as he pointed out, could of exposed us all." 

Still reeling, pulling himself from the strange headspace he'd entered on assumptions from Cas's previous statement, Sam kindly patted the Angel's shoulder. "Just, carry on Cas, Dean's just being overprotective." The indeterminate lie slipping out easily, but he knew saying what he really thought would just complicate things. 

* * *

"Dinner?! _Dinner_. Why the-" Dean pinched the bridge of his nose. Shaking his head to himself and then rubbing his palm over his face. His tie getting caught over his arm. 

They'd spent the entire day at the precinct. The mystery killer creature managed to evade them at every turn and a more thorough look at the post mortem's of the victims hinted at the possibility of an inside job. At present they stood in the mid-afternoon heat beside the impala as Sam fetched bottled water from a nearby vending machine. 

"So while me and Sammy have to sit up all night tryin' to figure out who is Mr Crime Scene Interruptis-" 

"-Or Mrs?" Sam suggests, holding out the tepid drink. 

Hastily grabbing one, Dean rolls his eyes, "You're gonna go make googly eyes over spaghetti at some cop who's tryin' to ride your tail feathers on this case? Just, FYI, to get a head up at the station. Not because he digs your silly, little nature facts or your dumb, emo-girl metaphors." 

Castiel's expression soured, "Why is it you take everything so personally. You yourself encourage me to take initiative. I was simply building on an opportunity that presented itself in a way to advance our investigation, to get a unique input from a potential library of inside knowledge." He nodded at Sam as he accepted the beverage. 

"Cas is right Dean. It's nothing you wouldn't of played yourself, you have to hand it to him, it's pretty good." 

Sneering, Dean leered, " Alright, so then what if officer friendly is our guy? Just because Samantha's your new number one fan, doesn't mean you suddenly know how to handle a situation. You're powerless, what are you gonna do, bore him to death with your poetry?!" Teasing childishly, the older Winchester stared challengingly at Castiel. 

The Angel simply shook his head in silent anger before storming off along the road back to their motel. 

"Dude! What is with you?!" Sam nudged Dean forcefully with his elbow. 

"It's Cas, damn fool has no sense of precaution. What if our guy is putting himself in the investigation? What if he's just using Cas to get info? Or maybe, even take him out. Feds are closin' in, why not cool the heat by taking out dorky rambo?" 

"Cas thinks your jealous." Sam said coolly, purposefully leaving the sentence open. 

"He- what? I just, don't wanna have to waste time tryin' to save his ass, when we could just stick together and stick to the plan." 

"But we don't have a plan, we're getting nowhere and there's new vics every other day. I get it, we've been trapped in a crappy motel room with no AC for over a week but you can't talk to him like that. You know how he gets." Sam chided. 

"Yeah and I also know what happens when he goes rogue, when he thinks he's doing the right thing." Clenching his jaw, Dean glimpsed a flashback from the past. "Dude walks into every bad guy cliché trap there is. He is the walking embodiment of damsel in distress." 

Sam rolled his eyes and gulped at his water, the bottle crinkling in his hand, "I think you're being OTT. Y'know it is possible the guy just likes Cas, let it play out and see what we can glean from him. Let Cas practice being the bait, see it as a social lesson for him." 

Dean grimaced, "OTT? Please Sammy, save that shit for your diary. Well, I wanna know where he's going. When he's coming back and I want a vehicle registration." 

* * *

"-I haven't been myself no. Well, I've done, surveillance work there before. A long time ago, so I can't really speak for the culture now." 

Officer Lenny Keane smiled, fork twisting in his pasta as he sat across from Castiel. "You make it sound like you're ancient." He chuckled softly. 

Tucked into the corner of the small Italian bistro sat Sam and Dean. The windows were black with the evening sky and soft jazz mellowed in a low-lit room. Sam tucking in heartily to something leafy and green while Dean sat with an earpiece and notepad. A small mic was clipped to the inside of Castiel's suit jacket upon the insistence of Dean, but so far all he'd done was mouth repetitions of Keane's comments in a repulsed manner. 

Humouring Sam to no end, who noted the lack of writing and eating across from him. His brother focused so intently on the ongoing conversation. 

"I feel ancient. But then at times I get so swept up by all the new things around me, I feel young and slightly hopeless...Sorry, this, what is this?" 

"Merlot." 

"This merlot, seems to be loosening my tongue." 

Resting his chin on his hand, elbow perched on the table as the other hand swirled his fork in his plate, Keane twinkled at Cas. "Please, I like it. You have such a, what's the right...intriguing way with words." 

"Oh." Castiel's voice perked in gentle interest. Dean frowned even deeper and held back the urge to use his little mirror to peep at the table. 

"You think so?" The Angel's voice fluttered softly. Keane must of nodded. "You don't think it's, uh, dumb?" 

Dean blanched, visibly and Sam regarded him quizically. 

" _No_...why would I think that?" 

"You don't think I sound like an, ' _emo-girl_ '?" Cas asked, having no clue as to the reference and assuming Officer Keane would. 

The hearty chuckle unsettled the Angel, before the other man spoke, eyes fond and tender, "Is this something some asshole's said to you?" 

Knowing full well Dean was listening Cas gritted his teeth, "Yes it is. He continually undermined me, despite my standing, my rank. Then, when he felt his sense of control slipping, he lashed out at those close to him. His self-destructive behaviour tore at my more sensitive side." 

Head hung in shame, Dean listened on as Keane replied sympathetically. 

"Another agent? That must of been hard, they say relationships in our line of work don't make it." 

"I can see why." Castiel's voice was erred with cold edge. 

"Well, the answer is no, you don't sound dumb or like a girl or anything like that. You come across as interesting, gentle, dark but in the sexy Darcy kind of way."

Dean's fingers curled into a fist where they were resting on the notepad, the tips pulling the paper into a creased scrunch. Sam looked his brother up and down and flicked his eyes over to the table a small ways away. He could see Castiel's suited back and the soft and flirty face Officer Lenny Keane was flashing across at him. He nodded inwardly before pulling his phone out his jacket to fiddle. 

Assuming, as per Sam's instructions from a previous occasion, that 'Mr Darcy' was a popular reference that a man of his position was likely to know, Castiel simply smiled bashfully. 

Aware that the other man had called him sexy. Since becoming one with the flesh that made up the image of his previous vessel, Castiel had never considered the outward effect of his appearance. 

His cheeks felt warm and he wondered for a second if he'd been taken ill. 

"You don't believe you're sexy?" Keane lulled. "That's, so very...can I say _cute_? I mean I know it's different for some guys, they feel strongly about that word-" 

"it's fine." Cas hurried. Wanting to seem agreeable. _I am an Angel of the Lord. Not cute. Terrifying, magnificent, powerful...not...cute. And yet._

A secondhand blush crept up Dean's cheek, Sam opened his mouth to speak but Dean briskly cut him off with his hand held up. Head crooned intently as he listened. 

"I, uh. No one has called me cute, before." 

"Oh? Do you typically work with the visually impaired?" Keane snickered. 

Castiel paused for a moment before sensing the joke, personally finding it a tad wrong but mirrored the expression. 

"I like you Rowan, can I call you Rowan? Agent Serbet seems a tad official when we're discussing how cute you are." 

"Uh," Of course, that is who he is, at present. "Sure, Leonard." 

"Just Lenny's fine, but honestly you could call me whatever you want." Keane winked at Castiel as he signalled to the waiter for the bill. 

Thrown off by the unusual statement, Cas quickly tried to scan his memories for a time either of the Winchester's said this to him. Frantically trying to discern if this was a typical social nuance between friends and acquaintances. Nothing turning up, his face pulled tight, Keane looked for the first time that evening, nervous. 

"Sorry, it's the wine, I'm not much of a drinker. It seems you're not the only one with a loose tongue. I hope I haven't blown it for a second date?" 

" _Date?!_ " Dean exclaimed out loud. Luckily not so loud to be heard by the pair, but enough that the table adjacent to the brothers turned disapproving looks their way as Sam raised his brows. Wondering if his forehead would remain crinkled if he continued to indulge the older Winchester in chasing an Angel around for, personal reasons. 

Castiel also appeared shocked, having not considered the dinner to be so, but upon reflection realised it was nothing but. Thinking on his feet and having not really gotten any kind of information other then an insight into the private workings of Lenny Keane's mind, Castiel decided to do what he assumed the Winchester's would do in his stead. 

"Yes. I mean no, no you haven't," Cas blurted to try and undo the crestfallen expression of the other man as his words had stumbled. 

"Great!" Keane beamed, standing as he left cash on the small tray provided. Catching Castiel's arm as he reached for his wallet, the sight of the cash prompting him to remember human manners. "It's on me. You can get it next time, but maybe somewhere without garlic bread, given it's the second date..." He winked at the Angel. 

Dean felt his stomach lurch, the rustling sound of mic interference jerked him to peek with his mirror as he saw the two men stand. Keane gently cupping Cas's elbow as they walked toward the coat check.

Dean perched on his knees and stared not-so-subtly as the Officer took the trench coat from the hostess and proffered it to Cas to slip into. The muffled sound irritated the Hunter's ear through the headphone. The signal tapering as Keane held the door open and Cas brushed past him and entered the night outside. The last of the connection disappearing with the Angel. 

Dean hurriedly started to gather his stuff and simultaneously throw his jacket on. Sam looked bewildered and threw a hand out to steady his brother, "Dude, what were you saying to Cas about being inconspicuous?" He murmured. 

"Dude could be chomping his freakin' head off in the alleyway!" Dean whisper-shouted back. 

"Oh, yes that would definitely be a problem for you." Sam retorted quietly. 

Sneering, Dean gestured rudely before thundering across the quaint bistro. 

The unamaused couple beside Sam's table pursed their lips as the young Winchester gave them a toothy grin before filing out after Dean. 

Finding him in the parking lot with Cas as they both ducked into the impala. Sam catching up and dropping into the passenger side, the car dipping as he manoeuvred his lanky body. 

"So..." Sam began. 

Castiel turned his head patiently and Dean groaned, flicking his keys and taking them onto the road. 

"How was your date?" 

* * *

"Dean, we need those keys. This isn't a bad plan." 

Sam implored, perched against the water marked table in their stifling motel room. The double and the single the two brothers and Cas occupied were messy as the hot nights had been unbearable for all. 

"I am _not_ sending bambi onto the ice without a helmet." Dean glared at the floor, pointing blindly toward the Angel. Opposite Sam, leaning toward the wall.

Castiel sat on his single bed, freshly showered and wafting a water park leaflet at his face and neck. Feeling the distraction of the enticing images on the garish, shiny paper. Children laughing in small geysers of water, young adults making a big splash into a pool. He swallowed dryly and considered sticking his head under the bathroom tap. 

"How else Dean? We can monitor him remotely, as long as he doesn't take his clothes off-" 

"Why the fuck would he do that?!" Yelping, Dean stepped to Sam, before looking confused and determined at Cas. "You aren't gonna take your clothes of, are you?!" 

Hand slowing. Castiel lowered the pamphlet, "uh, no...should I?" 

Dean stared at him mouth agape, glancing between the Angel and his younger brother. 

The young Winchester scratched the back of his head and grimaced slightly, "Um, well, _no_ , well, we don't need you to do that, you will have a mic under your shirt so probably best not to." 

"Are you encouraging this?!" Voice breaking as his mind felt fractured suddenly. The Hunter shook his head. "Sirens, Lucifer, every goddamn demon...this is their game! Cas, dude, did you forget being actually fucking murdered last time you walked into a 'date'?"

Castiel felt a ghost pain of being stabbed burn in his stomach. He sat quietly for a moment, refraining from eye contact, "I understand your concern Dean, as Sam said, you can follow me and keep an eye on things." 

"Espionage won't prevent another stab wound. You're packing heat, not sending you in blind like that. Not when I- we can't be there. To save you." 

The two scowled at each other, Sam following Castiel's glare up to his brother then back down, "He means protect. We know you've got this. Don't we Dean?" He slapped his hand at his brother's middle. 

"Yeah...sure, whatever. Just, go steady, act normal."

Cas stood and sardonically regarded Dean, head cocked and eyes squint, "I have studied humanity since it's existence. I have lived with it, alongside it for a decade. I can act, 'normal'." 

"A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world." Dean retorted under his breath, but relaxed back against the wall. 

* * *

"Any closer to catching the killer?" Keane asked. Dean and Sam sat in the impala, hunched over the receiver screen, the only light against the black sky. A thermal scanner was planted in the window of Officer Lenny Keane's living room. It was an older model Bobby had swindled off a previous FBI fling but Keane could be seen well enough, approaching the sofa with a glass outstretched to Cas who was sat on the middle cushion. 

"No, everytime we catch a lead, it doesn't go anywhere conclusive. If this continues then we just write up our findings and send them back to our Supervisor, they either send out more experts or we put it on the shelf and come back to it in six months." 

"So you're saying this place will be either crawling with feds, no doubt one or two superiors, or you'll go home?" 

Castiel took a sip of the drink and grimaced. The acrid taste of neat whiskey fouled his tongue and warmed his throat. 

"Yes. Our presence does seem to antagonise the killer." The lore all pointed to the Lamia. A flesh eating beast, potentially taking the disguise of a person. 

"Hm. Well, it's awful, it really is, but I'm glad it's brought you to this little town." 

Dean bit his lip, eyes closed as he braved himself for more of this sappy crap. 

Sam withheld the brotherly urge to place a hand on his back as he saw the two thermal, humanoid shapes stare at each other with not so much space between them. 

"It is, a nice, _town_." Cas fumbled. Keane took his confused ambling for flirtatious endearment and leaned in closer. 

"So, Rowan, what do you do to unwind?" 

"Unwind?" 

Keane tentatively brushed Cas's knee with his fingers. A blurry move on the Winchester's screen but obvious enough. 

"I- uh, I um. I _observe_ , the, uh. I," Stammering as the fingers swirled slowly from his knee towards his inner thigh, still respectfully low. "Bugs. Birds, I like to be outside." 

"I've never met someone like you before. How are you going through this life alone?" 

Castiel's voice was deep and just a fraction rough, Dean felt lost. "I am not alone, just not taken in the sense you're asking. I think I've maybe, just been misunderstood. I can be quite, serious, so I've been told before, by friends of mine."

"I picked up on that, at the crime scene, where we met. Crap, how bad does that sound?" Keane laughed. "Though it's obvious to me, you just need some affection, someone to smooth those rough edges sometimes huh?" 

A smile pulled at the Angel's lips. It felt odd, that a stranger could make sense of things he couldn't. That this outsider has read his needs, where his own dear friends, family even, couldn't. 

"It is, a certainly warm feeling, to be cared for in such a gentle manner. I value my station, I am hard-wearing. I'm in control, I have been in charge of uh, whole departments at the bureau. I demand respect and I enjoy it. But, sometimes, it is _nice_ , just to feel held, protected. Maybe even, _vulnerable_." 

Sam felt like he was trespassing, on both Castiel who was sharing his self-truths and of Dean who seemed to be having a visceral, existential crisis. 

"I understand totally," Keane smiled, his voice calm and tempting. Unseen by the brothers, his eyes lit with bubbling passion, cheeks a merry blush and lips wet as he nervously chewed them. "I like to feel that way in a relationship. My life can feel so wretched sometimes. Small town, not a lot of folk, even less like me. Sometimes I feel like a bird fallen from the nest. Too young to fly and to weak to protect myself." 

" _What is this, Oprah?_ " Dean murmured, eyes still shut. 

Sam smirked. 

Castiel was still adapting to having a body, not just occupying one and was immediately unsettled by the jump his heart had made at the analogy. His face softening further as the human pull to be relatable, understood and accepted pushed him. 

"I feel that way too, it consumes me. Even the act of feeling is like an armoured plate pierced. I try to avoid it, I become so...reckless." 

Dean heard the shame in his voice and thought of all of Cas's great mistakes, now perhaps just impetuous desperation to cry out but without the human understanding of why and how. The magnificent pressure must of been overwhelming. 

"Me too." Keane near whispered. His head lolling toward Cas. 

Sam looked at Dean's squinched eyes. Then back at the screen as the officer closed the gap and pressed a kiss on Castiel's lips. 

The soft squeak of mouths separating sounded through the speaker and Dean's head shot up. 

"Cas is really going for the full chick-flick experience. Bet your journal's about full Sammy. " _Dear diary, today, whilst brushing my hair I thought about Cas and his prince as they-_ " 

"Don't take your crap out on me Dean, you're only showing your hand." Sam spoke matter-of-factly as he often found it worked to be blunt in unavoidable conversations that involved Dean's convoluted feelings. 

It was quiet, so Dean chanced a peek at the screen and saw Cas's face next to Keane's. The orangey-red blobs merging on the screen as they moved. 

" _Jesus Christ._ " He groaned. 

"Deal with it, just wait for the text or signal and we can get the keys and get outta here." 

The figures seemed to shift and Keane's voice crackled back through the speaker, bouncing round the impala. "I know it's only the second date, but, if your boss's about to turn up or pull you, I worry you could be gone before we get a chance to get to know each other. We might not get a chance to be...close, I just, if you wanted to...I wouldn't normally ask like this..." 

For a façade, Sam thought Cas played the tough, serious unfeeling guy that just wanted some semblance of intimacy and care, like a professional. But then, he knew that it's not that hard to play yourself, just in a moderately different shade.

"Uh," Panic set in as the situation was slipping out of the comfort of predictability. "Yeah...Um, would that take place in the bedroom?" Cas asked seriously, but was again mistaken as being coy. 

"Yes, Agent Serbet, you're deduction skills are unparalleled." 

"Well, good. Um, I just need to message my partners and let them know I'll be late back." 

Keane hesitated at the base of the stairs, "Don't you do breakfast? If it were up to me, I'd have you tell them to keep your plants watered." He chuckled flirtatiously, eyebrows waggling. 

"It is my understanding that breakfast is the most important meal of the day." Cas cocked his head and frowned. "By plants, the only thing I have that constitutes, is a half eaten stick of cucumber that's languishing in a cool box." 

Keane laughs again and Cas finds it quite endearing. He quickly shoots Dean the text. 

**BACK KITCHEN DOOR UNLOCKED. GREEN CHAIR JACKET POCKET.**

Before nervously heading upstairs. No intention of continuing what was already a step too far in the charade after the kiss. 

Once the figures were gone, Dean shot into the house, quickly navigating his way to the location and snatching the keys. A temptation to stand still, holding his breath and listen, won out for only a moment. Once safely back in the impala, Sam rings Castiel's phone. 

Noticing the gaze avoidance of his brother after watching him on the scanner "Cas it's Sam, get outta there." 

Cas replies, voice slightly wavey and breathless, "Yes sir?...Have you notified Agent's Stein and Adam's?...do we have coordinates?...okay...has the coroner removed the body?...I'll be right there...no, it's not a problem." 

Dean and Sam listened in tense suspension as Cas lied. 

"Another body's been found. I have to go...um, I'll come back tomorrow. I'm sorry." To the brothers, his awkwardness and tone gave him away, but to others it usually came off as just bashfully innocent. 

"Another body? Really? Where? When did this happen?" Keane sounded concerned and soon enough both figures reappeared in the living room. "They haven't rang me..." 

"I would say come with me, but if my boss is there, he would be confused if I showed up with local police. You know how purist they get up-rank." Castiel improvised, the bureaucratic institutions not dissimilar from the Angel's. 

"Sure, sure. Hey, I'll ring in, maybe catch you at the scene later?" Keane sounded agitated as he fumbled in his pocket for his phone. "Damn it." 

"What's the matter?" Cas could do candid, often the false perceptions that led to him being misunderstood came from the very inner, defensive act of playing the butter-wouldn't-melt act. Better to be underestimated then suspected. 

Patting himself down, Keane sighed, "My keys. Got my car's but not my work set, must of left them back at the precinct, no one should need the cruiser tonight I guess. It's been, distracting, having you here." 

Castiel considered the notion of being a distraction, in a positive way, "Oh, sorry." 

"Rowan, don't apologise. Go, if they're going to drag you about tonight the sooner you get there the sooner we can meet up after?" The Officer placed a gentle touch on the Angel's arm, bodies close. 

" _Just get outta there Cas, goddamnit._ " Dean grumbled, twitching and tapping his fingers irately on the dash. 

"Sure, Leonard." The formal use of the full name drew yet another pleased chuckle from Keane who pecked him on the cheek before heading to the kitchen, holding a hand up in farewell as Castiel left the house. 

Sam saw him in the wing mirror as he walked down the street path, lit by the tall lamps, haloing him in light as he approached the car. 

The door creaked a little as he slid into the back, Dean needing no further prompting, hurriedly pulled them out and away from the small suburb. 

The car was deathly silent. The solemn rage that bubbled internally within Dean, visible in the small vapours of steam that were his micro-aggressive ticks, blindingly obvious to Sam who felt abysmal on behalf of his tortured brother. 

"So Cas, what did officer friendly's tongue taste like?" The older Winchester snapped, back turned to the Angel on the backseat. 

Annoyed, Cas tilted his head and stared hard at the rearview mirror. Dean flicked his eyes up briefly and huffed when he saw. "Why you continue to berate me when I am the only one furthering this case is beyond my understanding of humanity." 

"Forgive him Castiel, he's being what we affectionally know, as a 'douchebag'." 

Sam turned in his seat, the leather squeaking as he gave a soft smile to his friend. 

"No, Samantha, I'm asking him seriously. What did his mouth taste like?" Tone more normal and without the childish edge it had taken before, Dean looked at Cas through the mirror. 

Sam frowned for a second and relaxed as Castiel deepened his look of frustration. "I really cannot fathom-" 

"Did it taste funny? Bad? Sour even?" Dean exhaled deeply. Gesturing with his hands round the wheel subconsciously. 

The Angel's face softened slightly. He'd been human, or whatever an Angel with no powers was, for some time. Taste had been...an adventure to say the least. Sam had pointed out, in books targeted at children; to teach them about the body and it's fascinating processes; that the palette had different sections and taste receptors and demonstrated with a selection of foods, what sour/sweet/salty etc was. 

"I, don't know. No, I guess." 

"Well that's hardly reassuring, what do you mean ' _you guess_ '? You've kissed people before right? April, Meg? Was it like Meg?" The tension in Dean was unspooling as he felt the rush of words tumbling in anger from his mouth. 

"Well, all I could taste, was the drink he gave me. It was not dissimilar from the brown spirits you consume from time-to-time." 

"Great!-" Dean slapped the wheel. 

"-Dean." Sam warned. 

"-We're no closer to finding out if _Doofy_ back there is the secret killer." 

"Guys! Can you just save it for when we get outta the station?" Sam relented, watching the road as they approached the building. He was dressed in his FBI suit and was flattening the tie down against his shirt. 

They parked discreetly at the back, before Cas leant forward to listen to the plan. 

"Right Sammy, get in and get the roster for the shifts, make sure you get the right dates for the crime scenes, maybe we can get a lead there. Try an' avoid any truffle hunters." 

"Got it." 

* * *

It'd been five minutes and Cas and Dean sat in total silence. Cas had felt the urge to clear his throat for a while now, but refused as to avoid triggering some kind of conversation. 

A small vibrating sound pulsed from within Castiel's trenchcoat. He looked at the screen, Dean glancing at the Angel in the rear mirror. Cas grimaced subtly and placed the still buzzing phone, back into his pocket.

"You gonna get that?" Dean's gruff voice sounded. 

"No, it's just Leonard." 

"Frickin' _Leonard_ ," Scoffed the Hunter. He sighed then pointedly looked at Cas's reflection, "Answer it, could be useful." 

The ringing stopped so he redialled. "Hello?...Oh!" Castiel squeezed Dean's shoulder for his attention, "Is he-...yeah-...For all the murders?...we'll be right there...Agent Stein yeah..." Dean clenched his jaw at his own pseudonym. "Okay...be there soon." 

Cas hopped out the back and then plonked in the passenger seat. "Someone has confessed. Leonard is with him now, said would it be easier for the paperwork if we made the arrest."

"We don't have paperwork Cas, no need to be so excited." 

"Well I am sorry Dean, for taking joy in the hope that whoever is eating the townspeople of Littlewood, has finally decided to stop and be accountable for their actions." 

Looking at the Angel with sheer disbelief, Dean raised his brows, " _A_ , it never is as easy as that and _B,_ Sammy's still in there. Oh and _C,_ the town's biggest killer the county has ever seen has confessed and these ' _cops_ '", Dean air quoted. Head jerking at the older and less robust looking men resting against a patrol cruiser, coffees in hand. "Are having a pow-pow?" 

"Dean, I understand that my input during this case has been challenging for you, but have I not been right at each turn? I have examined the human patterns of behaviour for millennia and I know what I'm doing. Just trust me, please?!" Cas's voice pitched with a desperate plea. "Text Sam, tell him he has keys to a cruiser and he can meet us there. Numbers on the tag." Castiel pointed at a line of parked patrol vehicles. 

Whining, Dean surrendered, "Alright boss. We play by your rules, see if we don't get bowled out."

* * *

The suspect occupied a nearby farm, the impala crawled stealthily up the dirt path toward the house. He was indulging his friend but felt unnerved instantly by the lack of red and blue lights and or other official presence. 

Sure enough, Keane's car was parked by the old, wood-sliding place. The familiar curve of the sedan recognisable in the pale moonlight. The building was unlit, but no obvious effort to hide the vehicle had been made. 

"So you tell me Cas, why some creepy little officer flutters about you from the get-go, the killing amps up the more you two get to talking. Then, he thinks you're about to skip town and now he's called you here, to the psychopath's playground, called _you_ , no backup? To presumably feast on you because the chase is no longer on!" 

It felt plausible, "Or, maybe he came here after a tip or whatever it was that alerted him to the killer's identity and now, said killer has either murdered or taken him hostage. He didn't call it in because he was trying to avoid the bickering over the arrest and detention of the suspect, especially after I mentioned that my boss was difficult about such things. He acted out to help me, not thinking properly and his irrationality has cost him?! He is a civilian that needs saving and you're threatening his safety with your own hubris and disappointment that I could be right." 

Dean squinted at Castiel's moon-shadowed face. "Okay. _Okay_ , so what, we just knock and hope Mr Heebee-Jeebies opens up and lets us cuff him?" 

" _No_ , I'm not a creature of low intelligence Dean. You forget my role before your existence was battle strategist. We take guns." 

Dean gave a low chuckle, rubbing his hands brusquely against his thighs. "Great strategy very-" 

A sharp knock rapped against the back passenger window as Keane came up alongside the car, waiting patiently and looking at Dean. Both men had gasped but reclaimed their demeanour. 

Cas got out first, fingers resting on his holster, gun loaded with sanctified bullets, as Dean slowly stood up out the car.

"Not to be rude Officer, uh Kline-" 

"-Keane." 

"...Keane, but what on earth possessed you to come here without a second? Our suspect has had the jump on men bigger then our own Agent Adam's, what kind of crazy or stupid are you?!" 

Keane seemed level-headed against Dean's anguished lash. "My apologies, Agent. I was trying to make things easier for Ro- Agent Serbet and yourselves. I have apprehended him, his name's Kent Forster, 35 and a recent release from an over-stretched psyche unit, apparently he was one of the 'l _ess risky_ ' patients." He began to walk toward the barn at the far side of the property, a faint light glowing by the large doors. 

The other two followed, Castiel unperturbed and Dean scanning the nearby cornfields, swishing in whispers and shrouded in darkness. 

By some relief there was more light coming from the barn then on initial look. The heavy door shunted to the side on a rail, enough to get inside. Once in, Keane calmly shut it, heaving with both hands. 

Cas peered over the empty stalls and large space, eyes shutting for a second before he heard Dean make the same conclusion. The Hunter had immediately lashed out at Keane, but it seemed the younger man was quicker, kicking Dean onto the ground.

The Winchester hit the dusty floor on his front but hastily began to scramble up. Keane pulled the pistol from the back of his jeans and pointed it without hesitation at Dean. 

It had happened so fast Castiel had only time to draw his own gun and train it on the Officer. 

"Leonard, whatever this is, we can fix it." He began softly. 

"Shoot him Cas. He's the killer, you know it, I know it!-" The Hunter spat, flinching slightly as Keane jerked the pistol toward him. " _Castiel!_ " 

"Castiel..." Keane sounded out slowly. He glanced at the Angel but then was straight back to Dean. "You were supposed to come alone." 

"What so you could have a dinner date?!" Growling, the older Winchester paced on the spot. "You've eaten enough buddy, it's about time you went on a diet." 

Cas wavered, the baiting and jokes were Dean's shield. He was afraid and Cas couldn't make a decision. 

"No, _whoever you are_. I need to explain, I know you'll listen to me." Pleadingly, Keane looked over again at Cas. 

Castiel looked at Dean and then to the Officer and then back to Dean. 

"You can't be fuck-"

"-He lives. I listen and you don't hurt him." 

Keane scrutinised the Hunter, disapproval clouding his features. "I will allow it, but if I think he's going to do something regretful, I _will_ take the shot." 

"Why are you doing this?" Cas was gentle, like a kind therapist. As though they weren't in a standoff with a flesh eating beast who'd killed a dozen people since they'd arrived. 

"I was just, surviving. I never lied, you know, when I said I'm alone here. My kind, they're...well they're gone, mostly." 

Dean looked horrified, "Dude! You eat people?! Like actually fucking eat their heads off?! You ever thought of just getting takeout?!" 

Cas swallowed, but Keane ignored the outburst. 

"My kind, we are sensitive to people who carry great sadness, burdens. What I did was wrong, so wrong..." He hung his head, Dean's boot moved an inch and he snapped back up, gun trained on the Winchester. "I've been able to just get by, since we were driven out in the late 40's. The great depression saw many of my kind grow in America. We took those who were already on the path of self-destruction." 

"Oh Lord. He thinks he's doing them a favour." 

" _Dean_." Castiel hushed him.

"In some ways we thought we were. Men mostly, who were effected. It was quick, we left no identity of the victim, before modern science took over. Saved families the pain of living with the guilt, thinking that they didn't try hard enough to save them. You know, suicide can be a congenital prerequisite once a death occurs?" Keane's eyes were wet. 

Teeth grinding, Dean trembled with rage as his fists clenched tightly. 

Cas sympathised with Dean. The blunt facts were that he'd killed innocents and needed to be put down, but his own wrongdoings, the death and chaos, thought to of been for the good of heaven. The good of mankind. To be alone and amongst a nest of scurrying ants that don't see you. He felt that. 

"We thought, it would bring some peace." 

"Because being dirt poor and starving is all made better by finding Daddy, headless in a ditch?! You're tellin' me you get nothin' out of this, just some carnivorous favour to man?" The pacing was stirring up dust, knuckles white and wrists ringing. Dean snarled viciously. 

"Of course, the sadness. When the body begins to let those emotions win, it triggers a release of stress in the hormones. The body already starts to shut down. The soul is no longer impenetrable, it hovers, as if between worlds. We are demonic by nature, but not by design. Not soulless but not fulfilled with such spirit as this world's other creatures. To consume a soul, it cures a pain inside us. The longing to have what humanity has. It takes me away from my own loneliness, my own suffering." 

Dean slapped his hands down against his sides, glaring at the Angel, "You not hearing what I'm hearing? Dude's murdering for a quick high because he's down in the dumps? I don't care how you dress it pal, that crap doesn't cut it. Take a walk, have a cupcake, hell, try fucking _yoga_ -" 

"What triggered this? You've controlled yourself until now, why?" Kind but determined eyes still focused on Keane. 

Arm still outstretched with the pistol, the Officer smiled softly as Castiel. "Because I lost my mate." 

There was a long pause before he spoke again, looking mournfully at Cas. Even Dean settled somewhat. "It was over a decade ago. You know its funny because I did those things," A short breathy laugh stuttered out and he turned to face Dean. "I got takeout, I walked for days, weeks even. Saw a therapist, yoga, you name it, I tried it. Nothing filled the void that was left behind." 

The glimpse of faint humour faded into pain. 

"But not having a soul, in the way you do, left a wound in me that will never heal. The presence of my kind is the only medication. If not, filling what constitutes as my soul with the essence of humanity. I hadn't allowed my weakness to reign in all those years after they were gone. I assumed a human life, took lovers, worked, created friendships. I knew at some point, being immortal, I would move on, but it felt sustainable. I learnt that whilst the human soul was a birthright of your kind, it could also be crafted." 

The other two men simply listened in silence as Keane spoke. Dean had stilled, jaw still clenched but hands loose. 

"But then, I had a callout, a case, this man. He'd lost his wife of fifty years. He was retired and had grown children. We were getting calls out to peel him off the sidewalk by the bar most nights, he was hurting, in every way possible. I felt his intentions as the months went on, until it was so clear. The clarity of his motivations were like a solar flare. 

He confided in me, the only thing that stopped him, from taking the leap, was that he feared he wouldn't be allowed into heaven and would not be reunited with his beloved. He told me that it was becoming harder to keep going. I worried that he could be right. I don't know what will happen when I eventually go, but I couldn't sleep thinking about this man and his grief. Then, I saw him one night, a few weeks before you arrived. Blackout drunk, unconscious almost...Numb. His soul was singing as it pulled away from his body, a vast force held back by the last threads of life itself...

So I freed it. 

I hadn't realised until that point that it had brought up buried feelings within me. I gorged on his soul and I felt... _euphoric_. The townsfolk wept for him, an unpredictable reaction took over Littlewood. The sadness and awakening of my sensitivity to such feelings took over once more and I became the beast I was created to be." 

Dean was stunned. This was exactly why he shot first and didn't bother asking questions. Like naming the spider before you squish it. It doesn't happen, because then you let it go. But Officer Leonard Keane wasn't a spider. His offences far spanned a lingering presence in the corner of the ceiling. He couldn't allow it. Castiel was radiating sympathy and empathy and he shut his eyes and willed Sam to hurry the fuck up. "So what's your deal with Cas? What was he some kind of game?" _That's it, remind yourself who- what you're dealing with here_. 

"I sensed his turmoil when he arrived. At the crime scene you first worked. It took every ounce of self-control not to consume you all then and there." Keane looked hungrily at Dean and the Hunter reclenched his fists, noting the Angel flinching in the corner of his eye. 

"I decided to separate you, Row- Castiel's pain was more potent, felt, _older_ somehow. Like an aged wine, I thought it would keep me going long enough to make excuses to leave town without being suspicious. It was supposed to be one last hit. But then we spoke...There was so much hope layered over the pain. I could feel joy and love at the surface. It was intoxicating. Your soul," He turned to Cas, "It's not human." 

"No, it's not." 

"I had to let you go, but then I needed to be around you again. Your energy, you reminded me of..." 

" _But I am not._ " The Angel stated, not uncaring but straightforward. 

"I couldn't control the downward spiral I fell into, I was like an addict. It worsened as each kill brought us together. Then, when you began to share your pain..." Single tears streamed down Keane's face, his voice pitching higher, "I felt the same release, then when I kissed you, I touched your soul and I knew immediately what you are. It all made sense to me. I could see all of your suffering, to of endured that for so long. Stars were born and died as you ached." 

Castiel shifted, a vulnerability crept along his spine and ghosted the back of his neck. As though invisible tendrils pulled at him. The same injection of perverse invasion he felt when they'd gone upstairs at Keane's house. The sensation leaving him nauseous and his chest tight. He'd been on the brink of panicked collapse when the phone had rang. 

"I knew you would eventually go. This being, older then all around it. Alone like I am, but with a soul so bright, overflowing. Enough that it swelled the rivers of my shallow existence. I couldn't let you leave, I tried to keep you here, but it wasn't working. I've seen the contrition etched into your heart. The love that spurs the hope, I knew that if I could only talk with you...Ancient being to old creature, but you didn't come alone and here we are." 

Castiel lowered the gun. Dean stammered beside him, gesturing wildly and barking. The movement blurred as Cas continued to stare into Keane's damp face. The Hunter's yelling muffled as the connection between the Angel and Lamia was consented. 

The invisible tendrils that earlier tugged, now thrust heartily into his being. Cas felt as though he was bleeding out, the rooting veins eviscerating his armour as they greedily scoured his body, desperately seeking the information within. As though a flick of a switch, the Lamia caressed his soul and began to see all of his feelings. Everything there was, even things he himself couldn't see. Memories removed by the other Angels. 

Dean continued yelling at Cas. The Angel stood staring at Keane, his face inherently lifeless, as though he wasn't fully present. Keane however, was still looking Dean over. His face twisting into a cruel tightness. 

" _ **Let him go!**_ " The Hunter all but screamed, stepping toward his friend, but backing off as the pistol hammer clicked. "He's listened to your story man, please..." 

"I can see what you've done to him. Millions of years of trauma and loneliness and nothing compared to the last ten years he's been tormented with." Keane growled. 

Eyes wide, mouth open and words unspoken. Dean felt limp and helpless. The truth was no surprise to him but to hear it felt like a revelation. 

"Just _stop_! Let him go, _please_. Take my suffering, take my soul, just put him back!" 

"I have not hurt him you petulant child!" Keane roared, "The bridge between myself and the Angel far transcends your capacity for understanding!" 

The barn door slung open suddenly with a heavy thunk, all in a sudden moment, Sam let go of the metal handle and reached for his gun. Firing off a regular shot messily into Keane's shoulder. The wound breaking the connection with Cas. 

The bullet knocked the Officer back slightly but he remained standing. Sam stood stunned for a moment, gun held useless in his hands. 

Keane snarled with rage, spinning and pointing the pistol at Dean, finger twitching at the trigger as Castiel cried out, " ** _No!_** " 

Flinging himself in Keane's path. "Please don't do this!" Reaching a hand behind himself and gentle touching Dean's stomach with his fingertips. Feeling the sharp respirations as the Hunter grabbed at his arm to pull himself in front of the Angel. Sensing his next move, Cas simply pushed him back. 

"There is no living if not for love." Keane's voice broke, pistol beginning to tremble in his hand as tears erupted and ran free down his cheeks. 

"There is always love!" Cas pleaded desperately, "This life, the next-" 

"-No there's not!" Keane screamed. His face contorted into an agonised picture of grief and wretchedness. "There is no love in the next life for me. No one will be there because she didn't wait! Couldn't handle the pain of losing so many of our kind. I wasn't enough! She promised us eternity and stole it in the night. She's gone. I cannot go where she went because it would be alone that we burn in the pits of hell. I cannot go anywhere, there is no natural end to this painful existence." 

"Heaven has its rules, but it's not unkind or unjust to the spirits it inhabits." Cas sobbed, the residual connection creating a rift between them, large waves of emotion crashing through into the Angel. "She suffered greatly and did what she thought was best. Without malice or evil. You both tried to live repenting your old ways. She'd be there." 

Keane wailed. A harsh shriek. Red rimmed eyes, swollen and moist stared longingly at the two men clinging on to each other. Each ready to embrace a bullet to save a life. He thought about his own beloved, thousands of years of the same fervour, passion and peace in each other's presence. 

"Thank you Castiel." 

"- _ **NO!**_ " 

The gunshot was loud. Castiel's ears rang as he dropped to the floor. Sam slunk down against the door, face splattered with blood and tissue, shock crippling him. 

Dean stood unmoving, staring blankly as the body of Officer Leonard Keane shifted into a long, dark creature with thin leathery skin. Another three feet in length and a series of branch like arms with hundreds of whip-like tendrils all coiled around the corpse on the dusty ground. The headshot wound transferred, but Dean just grit his teeth and looked away. 

Then he glanced back down at Castiel. Prostrate on his knees, hand hovering over the body before dropping limply into his lap. 

After a quick reassuring nod to Sam, the Hunter dropped down beside the Angel. Hand rubbing soothing circles on his back, "You tried buddy, he's at peace." 

"We need to burn him before cops get wind he's missing." Sam choked weakly, getting to his feet and looking at Keane. 

"Yes Sam."

* * *

The drive back to Lebanon had been melancholic. Cas was usually a silent passenger, but often Dean would find him gazing in peaceful reverie at the passing Kansas countryside, this journey he'd sat still, head hung low and hands resting on his knees palm upward. 

Dean would of thought he was praying if he didn't know him. Sam chatted to compensate for all of them, having waited the first hour for his brother to pick out a cassette, only to realise there wouldn't be music the on four hour trip. 

Once they got back to the bunker, Sam collared Kevin and made base in the library. Keen to document more on the Lamia after a mild debrief from Cas and to keep the teenager out of the firing line of both men's emotions. 

Dean resolved to drink the exhaustion away, with hopes of a full day and nights sleep, to avoid any confrontations of his own feelings. He was surprised when Cas also had come to the same resolute conclusion and sank into the couch in the den beside him with a pint glass full of scotch. 

Blinking at the glass, then at his friend, Dean cleared his throat. "Um, Cas, I think it's probably time for an impromptu lesson in glass etiquette." He took the pint glass and stood by his tabletop make-shift bar and then came back with two tumblers of scotch.

"S'better." He huffed to himself as Cas took the drink back, fingers brushing ever so lightly as the Angel frowned in confusion at the change. "Um...I ain't like Samantha-Jane up there," He indicated toward the library, "But as a one time offer, I'm here, y'know, to listen. Some crazy shit was bought up the other day and if you need someone to bounce any of it off, I'm all ears." It felt like he was wringing his hands through a meat grinder, but he recognised the problem was his own and not the offer itself. 

Twiddling his fingers around his own tumbler, ring clinking gently on the glass. He nibbled his lip absently before peeking at Castiel. 

The Angel was placid, swirling the scotch in a smooth singular turn of his wrist. "I appreciate the offer Dean, but I understand such a thing would make you uncomfortable and it is my desire to not provoke such feelings in anyone. Least of all you." 

"Cas...I heard what you said to the- to Leonard. About wanting to feel cared for and stuff. Vulnerable and held. I could do that for you..." Dean's voice cracked. They were sat a foot apart and he shifted a little closer. 

Castiel reflexively leaned a little away, "No Dean, it is fine. I just need some time to meditate." He stared out, focusing on the stationary TV. 

"I also heard," Dean shifted closer again. His voice faltered slightly but it held a playful edge, "You say that you don't let yourself feel stuff, in case you lose control. But, you're here, in the bunker. No powers, no crazy witches or Angel family, so I'm going to hold you." He plucked Castiel's glass from his hand and set it on the floor by the couch. "Well not hold you, but like a hug. It's a once in a lifetime thing so just bare that in mind." 

"Okay Dean." Cas looked wide-eyed back at the Hunter. Taking in his whole face as they got closer. Unsure of what to do with his hands. 

Dean wrapped an arm under one of Cas's, tightly holding him round the back and the other hooked around his neck, hand gripping tightly to his shoulder and resting his chin on his fingers. Ear tickling the Angel's stubbled cheek. 

They'd hugged before, passionate and desperate hugs. Bone crushing and also playful, but this wasn't in the middle of some drama. It wasn't a reunion that neither thought would come to pass. Slowly, Cas snaked his arms round Dean's middle, tightening enough to enclose them fully in the hug. 

He sighed, letting his body melt against the Winchester's. 

"For the record," Dean started his voice close to the Angel's ear. "I don't think you sound dumb. You're one of the smartest guys I know...and I like your nature facts. While I'm playing nice, you should know I even tell them to Charlie sometimes, I take the credit though...you aren't mentioned." 

Cas huffed a short laugh. Hands smoothing the fabric of Dean's top. 

"I'm sorry, that I've caused so much pain in your life." 

Pulling back suddenly, Cas frowned hard ar Dean, hands still on his waist. "Dean? You hav-" 

"-he said I have. Said he could see it. Was worse then anything else you've been through. He spoke matter-of-factly but the upset was clear in his tone. 

Cas reached a hand up and softly held Dean's face, "It's only because I care more now, then I ever have in my existence." 

He pulled his hand away but the Hunter caught it, pulling it back up and holding it against his own cheek. Closing his eyes, lids fluttering before stilled. Face pinched in something Cas couldn't explain. 

Tentatively blinking back across at his friend, Dean moved the palm to his mouth and pressed an innocent kiss into the palm. It lingered and his stare intensified. 

Feeling emboldened, Cas leant forward, sliding his hand back to the cheek it had caressed. Fingers brushing the soft skin of Dean's earlobe. Pulling the other man slowly toward his face, kissing him gently. 

Dean whimpered for a second before clearing his throat to mask it. His nose brushing against Castiel's, a thumb idly rubbing his light stubble. He wrapped his arms around the Angel again, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss. 

He let himself flop back against the cushions, Cas going with him. Chest to chest they embraced lovingly. Dean stroking absently through the thick dark hair that mussed so easily. 

Castiel broke the kiss, resting his head on Dean's chest. The sound and feel of his heart was louder then he expected. He could wholeheartedly understand the child's desire to nestle in for comfort. Immediately lulled into a sense of security, he smiled, "I do enjoy being held. It is very fulfilling, however, I don't want this to change our dynamic. I am still the remains of a magnificent source of power. My very voice can level towns, my visage is a terrifying beauty that will burn the very eyes of those who are look upon my face. I can destroy armies of demons with sheer intent alone. Well, not so much these days, being without grace...but please don't treat me differently because..." 

"Don't forget you're a badass just because you fancy a cuddle now and then?" 

"Yeah, that."

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> So this is just my current existential crisis with a SPN flair. First ever SPN fic, despite being sucked into the fandom a decade ago. Thanks Nov 5th. Boomerang fan here, reliving destiel hell.
> 
> Also I know that thermal scanners can't see like that, I just decided they could.
> 
> Also check out DeanstielsDaughter who wrote a similar fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28372116?view_adult=true


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